10 Signs that prove you’ve outgrown your friendship
My friends and I are not on the same page anymore. Is this one of the signs that show you have outgrown a friendship? Well, let’s find out!
We are made to believe that friendship is forever. While some do last a lifetime; others barely stood the test of time.
Never in my wildest dream, that I would ever outgrow my friends! But I did and I am so GLAD. I was a friend’s pleaser & would definitely die for them but oops; sorry guys; it’s time to say goodbye. You’re not worth all the effort I put in all those years!
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It’s not that I don’t believe in friendship but as I get wiser; I realised that as I grow; I leave behind me many things which no longer have a purpose in the new path I am taking.
It is exactly the similar way, as you have outgrown your clothes and shoes as you grow older. Same thing.
A friend in need is truly a friend indeed
We might feel disappointed and hurt when we lose a valuable friendship through fights and misunderstandings. However, there are times that a friendship just disappears through thin air and you feel absolutely NOTHING!
In fact, you feel happy and relieved that’s it over! This might sound shocking to some, but it is the truth.
Well, this is what happens, when you’ve outgrown a friendship or any other relationship. You feel nothing.
Often, this takes place when you are in a different place in life while your friends are on their own and you feel like you have MOVED on from some of the OLD ACTIVITIES and interests that you use to BOND over.
Signs that prove you’ve outgrown a friendship
Sometimes it is NECESSARY to repair a friendship. Other times it’s best to let go and move on. Recently I don’t feel connected to any of my friends anymore except one.
I feel like I don’t have a lot in common with them anymore. They want to hang out, gossip and eat and do fun things together while I am more goals oriented now with many things in mind that are worth much more than my friends.
You might ask yourself this question? Am I outgrowing my friends? If you feel this way, then You are not alone. This article will help you find out if you do.
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1. Craving for new friendship
Are you looking for new friends in spite of having old ones? If your answer is yes then this is one hundred per cent that you have outgrown your friends.
The reasons are many:
- You are more focused on your goals and priorities now while they are not
- You’ve improved your lifestyle and are working every day to be healthier and better
- Personally, You have done some SOUL searching like deeper meaning in life and EMOTIONAL GROWTH while they have not
- You don’t party or go out as much as they do
- You are not on the same page anymore and you don’t feel like repairing it either
- Or it could be that you are in a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP with them and you just realised; that it is better to let go and be happy rather than holding on and being unsatisfied.
2. You don’t feel supported
One of the reasons for outgrown a friendship is not feeling supported, seen, heard or understood; in times of need, especially if you have done a lot of growth and changes in the recent years; while your friends are still stuck in their old habits.
Sometimes this might also happen when your path no longer exists with them as you are growing. The lack of EMOTIONAL support is one main reason that drains a friendship.
This is exactly what happens to me. I was always there for them but no ONE was there when a tragic cased happen to our family. This speaks volumes. FAMILY FIRST. THE REST DON’T MATTER AT ALL.
The fire that was once burning is dying now.
3. You don’t care to connect at all
This one hit hard, you don’t feel like calling them, texting them or even responding when they text and call. You don’t care to connect with your so-called close friends anymore. You just don’t bother.
There might be a great shift happening within you that you feel you have matured ahead of your friends and might also be that your paths are not aligned anymore.
Of course, there’s a reason behind why you don’t want to connect but we rather not tell, and I bet everyone who feels the same way has a reason behind it.
4. Lack of Soul connection and deep conversations
This is the tough part to understand for most people. But the lack of soul connection and deep conversation place an important role in any relationship.
Just like my case, my conversations with my old friends are surface-level only. We hardly talk about anything important which is kinda boring to me.
The conversation is very shallow with no emotional connections. Besides, I don’t feel comfortable sharing with them my deep desire as I feel we have nothing in common to talk about.
So, the lack of deep conversations definitely leads to a lack of closeness in the heart; and some friends asked way too much PERSONAL stuff over and over again; like how much do you earn and how is your boyfriend?; it spoils the mood and make the conversation blunt.
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5. There is an unresolved issue between you
This is one of the main reasons that lead to outgrowing your friendship. It is one of the most notable signs that you have outgrown a friendship.
There’s something between you that is not resolved and you move on leaving the friendship behind.
This could be that they have done something wrong to you or that they said something behind your back or it could be anything that bothers you but they don’t care about how you feel.
It could also be that you are being betrayed by your friends.
6. The only thing you have in common now is your past
So damn true! Nothing in common to neither talk about nor share about! You have grown into a completely new person with a new lifestyle and new thoughts and ideas.
This makes it extremely difficult to chat or hang out when you don’t have a COMMON GROUND any longer.
And the only thing that connects you is your past! You have nothing in common to talk about that interests you both.
7. You constantly complain about them
Yes, you hear me. You complain a lot about each other or one is complaining about the other. The bond, the admiration; the appreciation no longer exists.
You don’t like them anymore; they pissed you off at the slightest; everything just seems wrong. The alignment is all gone.
8. The relationship is not helping you grow at all.
EXACTLY! It’s draining your energy rather than building you.
A relationship is all about evolving together through the ages and through thick and thin. If you are evolving on your own; without the acceptance of the other person; that means the relationship is going downhill.
We all need to be on the same page to make it work. Helping each other grow. Be there when needed. If the friendship is depleting; then there’s no point in putting it together.
Your friendship is not helping you grow at all in any area of your life; so it’s better to let them go and look for new friends with whom you can relate; someone who will HELP YOU GROW BOTH EMOTIONALLY, PERSONALLY & FINANCIALLY.
9. One person stop putting the effort
The other still cares while the other person stops putting in the effort. Friendship is a two-sided coin. It takes two to make it.
When my Dad passed away all of a sudden during COVID season; it was here that I realised that FRIENDSHIP IS NOT IMPORTANT at all! and all that matters is a FAMILY.
No one bothers, none have empathy and some are even happy out of jealousy! Yet they pretended.
If your so-called family friends (closed friends/whatever) were not there when you needed them most; then what’s the point of having them?
Let alone helping you heal and grow.
10. You are there for each other only in good times
Oh boy; run if your friends are only for enjoyment!
Either you or your friend is there for each other only in good times but not in bad times. It is much more important to be there for a friend in time of need rather than enjoying it in happy times.
These are the signs that you have outgrown a friendship when the emotional support & connection is no longer important.
Besides these, the excitement of meeting a friend is not there anymore and you don’t feel happy meeting them.
Sometimes this could also happen when you have depression but nonetheless; when your friends no longer make you smile and you do not feel happy meeting them; it’s better to enjoy your own company.
If you came across this same path; let us know in the comment section below. We are here to listen to your thoughts and feeling.
Take care and be amazing. Watch for the red flags. If you are not happy in your relationship, leave!